The last ten weeks or so have been the hardest in my professional career, with the only exception of those involving the tragic loss of a student. Sleep has been hard to come by. Or . . . more accurately – falling asleep on the couch when I should be acting as a dad has been easy; staying asleep at night – not so much. In fact, I am writing this at an ungodly hour.
Now, there are few things in the educational world that I know with more certainty, nobody likes to hear a superintendent complain. If one does, it is often followed by, “That is why you get the big bucks.” And honestly, I think there is truth to that.
But, when I noticed every text thread I am on with fellow superintendents (and I am on probably too many) continues to say the same thing day after day, I decided it was time for me to address it. Here is the truth – the last ten weeks of my job have been absolutely joyless. The issue for me, is that I have not been able to pinpoint exactly why it has been without joy and happiness until just yesterday. And once I realized what was happening, I felt compelled to write about it because I think many of you may be in the same headspace.
In the past ten weeks (most intensely in the last six) I have been called a fascist, communist, dictator, coward, and too many expletives to count. People have chanted for my termination, asked me to resign, yelled at me in the grocery store, and told me I had a lot of courage to show up to the local eatery without a disguise (in front of my kids). I have been told by some that I do not care about kids or staff because I have not taken a hard enough line on issues such as masking and vaccination, and ironically enough, I have been called out as a sheep by others for, you guessed it, taking too hard of a line on issues such as masking and vaccination.
The truth is, I have not even really made any decisions! I have simply chosen to follow guidance from the state and from the local health department. And heck – I have had it easy, at least I have not had people wishing death on me like some of my colleagues.
You know what the funny part is? Yesterday I figured out that the anger, name-calling, and rage directed at me is not what is bothering me. Well, I would be lying if I said it had ZERO impact, but it is not what is really troubling me. Through a combination of conversation with some trusted peers, some reading, and good old fashioned reflection, the angst I felt finally made sense. The reason why I consistently wake up with my mind racing became clear. The feeling as though I am trembling at times and do not know why suddenly doesn’t seem so strange anymore.
I realized that the part of my job that has brought me intense and true joy over the past decade is helping coach and lead other people and groups. This is how I viewed my job as a teacher. I got to coach and lead my students and, hopefully, create better humans and better outcomes in the process. I have felt the same drive at every station on my educational career journey. AND I LOVED IT.
As I sat and reflected last night it once again became clear to me what I already knew about coaching and leading. Coaching and leadership can only take place when real and authentic relationships exist. And when I am successful in my role as a coach or a leader, I am giving 100 percent of myself to the other person. I am hanging on their every word like it is a first date. I am listening to understand. I am intent on asking them questions that help them. I am committed to seeing them better than they currently are and willing to do what it takes to help them see themselves this way as well. I am not trying to solve their problems. I am just trying to help.
This is what brings me joy in my work. And right now, I do not get to do this. I do not have 100 percent of me to give. Truth be told, I do not know if I even have 50 percent to give. I am tired!
Between the angry phone calls, emails, helping our nurses, FOIAs, waiting on guidance, adjusting to guidance, receiving new ‘new’ guidance, supporting my team, and so on – I have nothing left. So, what has happened is that all of the worst parts of the job have been amplified and all of the best parts have seemingly been stolen at the same time. Hence, a joyless job.
To be clear, I know that principals, teachers, and school board members probably have it worse right now. And I am much more of a ‘let’s find a solution instead of admiring the problem’ kind of guy – but know your superintendent is most likely not at his or her best right now either. They are walking a political tightrope and most of them are doing their very least loved parts of the job right now ALL THE TIME. So, in the same way I hope that they are extending you some grace, please extend some their way as well.
Dr. PJ Caposey
Superintendent, Stillman Valley (Meridian #223)
THE BEST THING I READ/WATCHED THIS WEEK
Congressman Paul Mitchell’s Final Interview
Do not be distracted by the sensationalized headline. Listen to the wisdom in this man’s 7-minute message.
TWO PEOPLE/ORGANIZATIONS YOU SHOULD KNOW
Two people who have been instrumental in helping me keep my sanity this summer that I would not have guessed in June are Todd Dugan and Dan Cox – fellow Illinois superintendents. Great men working hard to do what is best for their districts. Give them a follow.
WHERE YOU CAN FIND ME
ON DEMAND – Manage Your Time or Time Will Manage You Book Study
ON DEMAND – Communications – MicroCredential Certification through Illinois Principals Association
September 8th
ROE 47
September 27th
Perry, Florida
September 30th
IASA Conference
MORE OF MY MUSINGS
Dr. Efrain Martinez and I chat around ‘The Journey’ of Leadership
A Keynote turned into a Podcast from IEI Spring Summit in Colorado
MCUSD Staff Room Podcast – End of Year Reflection
Transformative Principal with Jethro Jones (w/ Mike Lubelfeld and Nick Polyak)
Writing
Ed Week Opinion:
Actions Administrators Can Take to Provide Better Support
Edutopia – Leading with Integrity
“Every time you choose to avoid a difficult conversation, it is a selfish decision. Why? Because the only person who could possibly benefit from avoiding a difficult conversation is you. And that win is only emotional and temporary.”
ASCD – Four Must-Do’s For Empowered Principals
‘Vision—now and always—is the difference maker. Great principals can imagine a brighter future for their building, even in the midst of tribulation, that can bring energy and excitement to those they serve. If you cannot imagine education at large and your particular school as significantly better and different than it is in its current state, it is going to be hard to lead significant change.”
Thanks for taking the time to read this newsletter.
It would mean the world to me if you could share it with one person each week. We all get one chance to live a life of passion and purpose. Help me maximize my one at-bat.