‘Self-care’ has become quite a buzzword in education, and, as such, has put leaders in a bit of a quandry. You cannot go to a single keynote without hearing about it, scroll through Twitter without it being a common theme, or sit through (what seems like) a single faculty meeting without it being brought up.
This is good, right?
Yes, but . . .
Let me explain. It is wonderful that more credence is being given to our health, both physical and social-emotional, and our lives outside the job. Even the discussion around it now is probably too little and certainly too late. However, if all we keep doing is talking about without any actionable change, we are entering the danger zone of continually talking about something without doing anything about it. But first, three of the key things necessary in all aspects of leadership, self-care notwithstanding, must be addressed.
First, we need a common definition of what self-care means. Second, we need to model appropriate behavior. Lastly, if we are going to talk about self-care like it is something we value then we must demonstrably value it in our decision-making processes.
DEFINING SELF-CARE
I speak and present on the topic of self-care often. What I have found in my travels and in my conversations with my colleagues is that many people have vastly different personal definitions of self-care. To be clear, this is not differing variations on what effective self-care looks like, this is a simple technical difference of opinion.
While some view self-care as doing what it takes to remove as much stress as possible from one’s life, others view self-care as doing what is necessary to to come back and kick-ass at work the next week. In between these two examples are a myriad of middle of the road options.
The issue for leaders is that multiple people using the same term or phrase but deriving vastly different meaning from it breeds divisiveness and confusion. I believe that this is in part responsible for the natural eye roll that occurs for many educators when administration talks about self-care. As we continue to talk about self-care with vastly different definitions and expectations, we succumb to the trap of talking past each other, inevitably leading to frustration and confusion.
Simply said – the first step to making self-care a truly viable topic when talking with staff is to explicitly define what you mean by self-care.
MODELING APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR
Part of what I do before I write most anything is to ask some of those closest to me to act as a thought-partner. When I have a handful of clear questions, I sometimes send out an email blast. I did that for this newsletter and received an amazing response that has continually made me think since the moment I read it.
I will share the response (anonymously) below, but the bottomline is that as leaders we get the behaviors we model and tolerate. This is no different when it comes to self-care. If we are talking the talk, but not walking the walk then everything we say seems disingenuous.
As a Generation X-er, work is a part of what defines me. I grew up in a small farm community with parents who taught me the value of working hard. I appreciate this upbringing, and a common phrase to any problem was, “Pull your boot straps up, your cap down, and get back to work.” I mention this because this attitude of “get to work,” always has trumped any thoughts or narrative of taking care of myself. The job, especially in this Covid environment, is the priority. Getting crap done has always taken precedence over taking care of myself. That’s just always been my attitude, and to be honest, I know it is wrong. I never change though, and that’s probably why I have had pneumonia 8 times in my administrative career.
DEMONSTRATING WE ACTUALLY VALUE SELF-CARE
I think we are on a slippery slope when it comes to self-care in education because when we talk about how much we value something and then do nothing to provide space for it, the message rings increasingly hollow. To explain (and synthesize the two points above), if we discuss self-care and then add more on to an already overloaded teacher’s plate while coming to work exhausted, unhappy, overwhelmed, and overweight, how can our lip service to self-care mean anything?
To be clear, education is hard work. There will always be new things to implement and old things to improve upon, so making the job easy is not an option. But giving the gift of time, bringing health services to your people, investing in their professional growth, partnering with a fitness center, or even bringing turnkey oil changes via community partnership to your staff shows that you truly care about your people taking care of themselves.
The bottomline is that we are in a demanding profession. Moreover, we are in the most demanding stretch I can ever remember in this difficult profession. If we are not taking care of ourselves AND those in our stead, then we cannot take care of others and our students. As I see it, we actually have no choice.
THE BEST THING I READ/WATCHED THIS WEEK
Why Leaders Should be a Beacon of Hope – Michael Kelly
A couple of weeks ago I was at the state superintendent conference. Many of my friends and colleagues were down. At a conference that normally is lighthearted, fun, and collegial many were having a hard time pulling themselves from the stressors of the job. I recognized that feeling because I was there myself not too long ago.
Then, someone in passing (a non-educator) said something to the effect that if I (as the leader) was not projecting joy and hope then how could the others in the organization possibly project these things. This stopped me in my tracks and forced me to adjust my behavior –and more importantly my attitude – immediately.
I have been meaning to take the time to write about this, but instead, I just keep reading about it. I find this short blog really helpful for me, so I thought I would share. JUST. KEEP. LEADING.
TWO PEOPLE/ORGANIZATIONS YOU SHOULD KNOW
Two people who have been instrumental in helping me keep my sanity this summer that I would not have guessed in June are Todd Dugan and Dan Cox – fellow Illinois superintendents. Great men working hard to do what is best for their districts. Give them a follow.
Marcus Belin
Meghan Everette
WHERE YOU CAN FIND ME
ON DEMAND – Manage Your Time or Time Will Manage You Book Study
ON DEMAND – Communications – MicroCredential Certification through Illinois Principals Association
SPEAKING-CONSULTING-CONFERENCES
October 24th – IPA Building Leaders
October 25th – Illinois Principals Association 50th Anniversary Conference
November 3rd – CUSD 305 – Manage Your Time or Time Will Manage You
MORE OF MY MUSINGS
Dr. Efrain Martinez and I chat around ‘The Journey’ of Leadership
A Keynote turned into a Podcast from IEI Spring Summit in Colorado
MCUSD Staff Room Podcast – End of Year Reflection
Transformative Principal with Jethro Jones (w/ Mike Lubelfeld and Nick Polyak)
Writing
Ed Week – The Best Use of the Last Five Minutes of Class
The bottom line, however, is that it simply is not ALWAYS possible. The most skilled teacher with the best plan occasionally ends up with the structured part of class ending a few minutes early. In those moments, there are a couple of things that typically happen—some good and some bad. Great teachers take the time to build relationships or extend the concept of the day through conversation. Others let the class be self-directed and hope that chaos does not ensue.
This is where the ONE SIMPLE THING comes into play.
Ed Week – Mistakes Districts Made During the Pandemic
My reason for saying all of this is that I think that the biggest mistake made by many district leaders was acting with hubris, certainty, false assuredness or arrogance. The bottom line is that for 99 percent of educational leaders in our country, this was the first pandemic we ever had the opportunity to lead through. Additionally, the rules of engagement changed many times over—and then changed once more—and then once again. It was impossible to be certain of almost any decision.
Illinois Association of School Boards Journal – Money Talk: Three Core Principles to Drive the District Forward
“Having money isn’t everything, NOT having it is.” — Kanye West
I am not positive, but I am pretty sure that I will be the first person to ever quote Kanye West when writing for the Illinois School Board Journal. But, in my experience, there is no comment or quotation that is truer when it comes to executive- and governance-level leadership of school districts.
As the quote indicates, having money will not necessarily make you a successful school district or a successful school board. On the flipside, however, not having the money necessary to do the work, or having had the money and mismanaged it, is almost always the key to being unsuccessful.
Thanks for taking the time to read this newsletter.
It would mean the world to me if you could share it with one person each week. We all get one chance to live a life of passion and purpose. Help me maximize my one at-bat.