Counseling Conundrum
Some of the most valuable hours I spent in my entire collegiate experience was sitting and talking to a counselor. A member of our fraternity had attempted to harm himself and we were given a “recommendation” that everyone should debrief with one of the mental health counselors on campus. I was skeptical to say the least, but attempting to lead by example as I knew I had several Brothers that were struggling I made an appointment.
As I entered the office I almost turned around. It was just weird. Wait, it was not weird. The reaction I was having to it was weird. The connotation I had assigned myself going to a counselor had pre-determined that walking into a counselor’s office was weak-minded and simply strange. I made one last look around and entered the office. Luckily, nobody had seen me.
I waited around for a few minutes for my appointment to start. This is in the pre-cellular phone era, so I was forced to stressfully flip through the pages of a few outdated magazines in the office. Eventually the counselor emerged and invited me into her office. She was pleasant and inviting, still the conversation was strained.
She lobbed a few questions to me about the event that brought me into her office. I answered. I tried to be nice in my reply, but I am not much for talking for the sake of talking. A handful of minutes passed and soon my time to go had arrived.
As I walked through the waiting area something compelled me to head up to the counter and asking for a follow up appointment. My request was granted. A few weeks later I found myself again awkwardly thumbing through a magazine I was not interested in actually reading. I still was unclear about why I was there or what brought me to want to be in the office of a counselor, but there I was.
The door swung open and I was invited back. The counselor informed me that she was very surprised to see my name on her calendar of visits today. I chuckled and said I was too. We talked peripherally for about ten minutes and then it happened. A whole bunch of things I had not shared with anybody were coming out of my mouth. I was sharing and just as quickly I was talking I was verbally processing through some things that were inside me for years.
I felt twenty pounds lighter when I stood up from the couch. It was an incredible session. That is what makes the next few sentences that came out of my mouth even more shocking. I informed the counselor that I did not want to have come back to the office despite how positive of an event it had been for me. The counselor took it in stride. Instead I asked for some book recommendations to work through the issues identified.
The issue for me was that as a 21 year-old the discomfort of attending a counseling session was not worth the benefits it provided to me. Was that decision short-sighted and obtuse? Yes –of course it was. But, it was also reality.
So, as I think about how we serve kids this thought sticks with me. Moreover, the kids and adolescents we serve are more comfortable and committed to digital and virtual relationships than I ever was at a similar age.
So, as I was working through a process with our insurance provider to help automate and make virtual as many typical doctor office appointments as possible, I thought back to my 21 year-old self and whether or not I would have continued talking to a counselor if I could have sat in my dorm room and have connected. I believe the answer would have been yes.
So, in a brief internet search of such services I came upon BetterHelp.com. After perusing their site they had a ton of information. I am sure there are competitors that I know nothing about – but I just wanted to get this idea into the ecosystem. Counseling can be designed around today’s kids. It can be virtual and can be delivered in the mechanism they are most familiar with. As we all continue to struggle with the mental health of our students – I just thought this story and this resource was worth sharing.